(I Cor. 10:13, 1 Pet 5:7)
A. INTRODUCTION
Our Lord Jesus told us that in the world we would have troubles/challenges, but, we must be of good cheer/disposition for he has conquered the world. It can be said that this prophecy of Jesus Christ has proven to be remarkably true, especially when we consider the challenges faced by widow(er)s and orphans today.
(a) How has your experience been?
(b) Look at the few words used by Jacob to describe his life experience before Pharaoh Genesis 47:9
Notwithstanding our present situation, we must be aware that we have experienced and shall continue to experience strength over our challenges.
Our position is strengthened with the experiences we found in the scriptures and the stories of people of our status that had been turned around for good in our present age.
In this study we look at few of the challenges faced by widows/widowers and share together the strength we have been enjoying or expected to enjoy.
(B) FEW OF THE CHALLENGES FACED BY WIDOWS/WIDOWERS
Some of the challenges faced by widows/widowers in our environment include:
(a) the challenge of loneliness;
(b) the challenge of provision/settlement of debt;
(c) the challenges from children, relatives and in-laws
(d) the challenges of emotional disposition;
(e) The challenges of unfulfilled dreams; re-occurring memory and dates
(f) the challenges of moving forward/re-settling:
(g) Mention other challenges you know.
(i)
(ii)
(iii)
(iv)
We shall briefly discuss these challenges:
I. The challenge of Loneliness
Loneliness is a powerful force that had led many to the altar of death. Loneliness happens to different categories of people in the world. The forms of loneliness include:
lonely widow(er)s;
lonely single;
lonely elder statesman
(a) When and what do you think made the loneliness of widows/widowers more devastating than the other:
(i)
(ii)
(iii)
(iv)
(b) Discuss how you have been able to cope with your loneliness;
(c) Of what value are the followings as strength over loneliness?
(i) Changing our environment /accommodation
(ii) Changing our pattern of sleeping or the size of our bed e.g. from 7ft to 3 or 4 feet;
(iii) Be involved in communal or religious work
(iv) Engage yourself very well by finding work to do
(v) Relate/discuss with people of the same situation.
Example of Anna Luke 2:36-38
(i) How old was Anna when she got married?
(ii) Vs…36….. her marriage lasted for how many years?
(iii) How many children did she gave birth to?
(iv) Vs 37…- 38…. As at the time of this Biblical report she had lived for how many years as a widow?
(iv) Vs 37… how did she deal with the challenges of loneliness among others as a widow for years?
(v) Can’t we follow her example?
II. The Challenges for Children, Relatives and In-laws
It is interesting to state that children, our relatives and in-laws who ordinarily should have been sources of succour, love and understanding for widows sometimes turn around to be thorns in their flesh.
(a) What are the likely challenges we can face for our children:
(i)
(ii)
(iii)
(iv)
(b) what are the challenges you have faced from your own relatives – mother, father and other siblings;
(i)
(ii)
(iii)
(iv)
(c) What are sources of challenges from our in-laws?
(i)
(ii)
(iii)
(iv)
(d) Tell us the strength you obtained over these challenges.
(i)
(ii)
(iii)
(iv)
(e.) Recall what happened to Job in the hands of his wife, relatives and friends and see the conditions he had to fulfil as a means of strength over his challenges Job 42: 10-11.
If you were Job would you have:
(a) Prayed for them or
(b) Accepted them wholeheartedly?
III. The Challenges of Unfulfilled Dreams, Re-occurring Memories and Dates
(a) Discuss briefly the lofty dream(s) you had before the demise of your Partner;
(b) What happened to the dreams after the demise of your Partner?
(c) Re-occurring memory is a very powerful weapon of torture if it is from a negative perspective. Mention some of the events/memory that are still giving you problems.
(d) What are the circumstances that often remind you of the past and cause emotional problems for you?
(i)
(ii)
(ii)
(iv)
(e) So many widows are troubled by the remembrance of certain dates -especially those of the death of their loved ones – does this still happen to you?
Job as Example
(i) The past memory of Job (29)
(ii) Remembrance of days-Job 17:1,11
(iii) Discuss briefly how you have gotten strength to overcome these Challenges.
(iv) The end Job 42: 12-17
We must determine to move forward and remove the emotional attachment and sense of likeness to be moody on such dates.
IV.The challenges of Emotional Disposition and Re-settling
The challenges have been seen as the most complex and if not properly handled may lead to chain of complex outcomes
- Given that emotion can be regarded as an impulse that can be triggered at the drop of the hat, what is the nature of your emotion-low, high, very high?
(b) Please mention some ofthe things that normally affect your emotion
(i)
(ii)
(iii)
(iv)
(c) Since the demise of your partner, how have you been able to cope with sexual dispositions?
(d) What are the attempts you have made at re-settling down mentally and maritally? Have those attempts been successful?
(e) There are so many deceivers (men) outside there who would want to take advantage of the situation of widows for sexual satisfaction and dump them. Have you even been a victim?
(f) How can a widow avoid falling into wrong hands or become victim of evil men? In her attempt to re-marry.
(g) Discuss some of the steps a widow/er should follow if he/she wants to re-marry as encouraged by the Bible. I Tim.5:4-14.
(i)
(ii)
(iii)
(iv)
V. The Challenge of Provision/Debt
Provisions and payment of debt are major areas of challenges to widows because of their situations and the meagre source of provision available to them. In certain situation widows have to battle for the settlement of debt owed while the husband were alive or in the circumstances leading to the death of their partners.
- Have you experienced lack of provision or the challenge of having to settle an outstanding debt as a widow?
- Mention some of the sources through which debt extends in a widow’s life.
(i)
(ii)
(ii)
(iv)
- The widow, a wife of a servant of God cried out to Elisha because of debt (II Kings 4:1-7) what does this teach us?
- Tell us how you have received strength over the challenge of debt/provision.
CONCLUSION
We must understand that, the challenges we face daily or presently in our lives are transient and at one time or the other we shall be strengthened to overcome them. For there is no challenge that comes our way that is not common to human being and God will always make a way of escape for us. I want to encourage you to always be positive and look forward to available opportunities that will come your way to overcome the challenges. God has helped you in the past. He will not leave you alone. You will get strength over your challenges. May God continue to help you.