In the midst of sorrow, suffering, trials and tribulations, God wisely designed us to grow into Christlikeness and be useful to others. Chief among such sorrow or suffering is the demise of a loved one. The trial as well as the developing process of recovery are sometimes difficult, unbearable and slow, yet through God’s grace, we often emerge triumphant. The Psalmist says “Thou has enlarged me when I was in distress” Psalm 4:1.
One general tendency we have witnessed is that when we suffer trials or the loss of a loved one, we cease from doing the services for which we have been known. The services may be either directly to God in His vineyard or to humanity. Should this be so? Is such action justified before God?
For twelve long years Bunyan’s lips were silenced in Bedford jail. It was there, however, that he did the greatest and best work of his life, for there he wrote the book that has been read most next to the Bible -Pilgrim’s Progress. Bunyan said, “I was at home in prison, and I sat me down and wrote and wrote, for the joy did make me write.”
- OPENING DISCUSSION
- Narrate briefly the forms of trial, suffering and loss you had suffered in life
- Tell us four things or services for which you were known for in your Church or community before the loss of your loved ones.
(i)
(ii)
(iii)
(iv)
(c) Let us know how the trials affected those services you had always rendered in the past.
(d) What were the factors which contributed to your inability to perform the services apart from the loss of your loved ones?
(i)
(ii)
(iii)
(iv)
(e) Discuss your initial feeling or disposition that hindered you from performing these services in spite of your inner urge to do so.
(f) At JoyBearers Care Organization, one of our desires is to help a widow/er return to the initial services neglected after the loss of his/her loved one.
(g) Tell us some of the factors that helped you to return to your original service (if you had done so).
B. FORM OF SERVICES
Various forms of services are opened to widow/ers and indeed every one of us as witnessed throughout the Bible. Some of these services include:
- Giving unto God;
- Caring for others;
- Service unto immediate family;
(iv) Helping in your community;
- Service in God’s Vineyard;
- Sharing one’s experience.
- GIVING UNTO GOD
God is the source of all life. Whatever situation we find ourselves, we must never cultivate the idea of not giving to God.
(a) Mention some of the excuses given by widow/ers or orphans in not giving to God.
(b) In the light of the following passages are these excuses sufficient? Luke 6:38.Acts 9:39
(c) What lesson can we learn from the offering collecting time witnessed by Jesus? Mark 12:42-43, Luke.21:2-3.This showed that it is not how much we give but the heart through which we give.
(d) Widows should be careful in making pledges
II. CARING FOR OTHERS AND SERVICE UNTO GOD
John Wesley’s rule is “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can and as long as you can”.
(a) One of the most disturbing things in life is to ignore what one’s caring heart wishes one to do.
(b) Given the famine and economic situation in Israel then, and if you were the Zarephath Widow would you have accommodated and fed Elijah? I King 17:8-18
(c) In the light of I King 17:16-24, tell us two principal advantages of the care rendered by this widow to Elijah;
(i)
(ii)
(d) Sometime when we care for others, we are only preparing a better future for ourselves.
(e) Widowhood should never discourage us from serving God.
(f) How long did you lived together with your partner before his/her demise? ……years. And how long have you lived since then? ……years.
Your own is better. Anna lived with her husband just for seven years after their marriage (she was a virgin before her marriage) and had been a widow for eighty-four (84) years as at Lk.2:36-38,yet she was daily in the Temple serving God with fasting and prayers, night and day. For this reason, she was there in the greatest of all event – the revelation of Jesus Christ to the world.
III. SERVICE UNTO IMMEDIATE FAMILY AND OUR COMMUNITY
A widow/er must never lose interest in his/her service to his/her immediate family especially the children. Else, by the time he/she would realize, the children must have developed another spirit. For him/her to bring them back will require extra-ordinary care, prayer, attention etc.
We must know that what happened, actually affected the entire family not yourself alone. So you must never stop the usual services to the living members of the family, instead of brooding over the dead one(s)
(a) What were your responsibilities to your children and how well have you been able to perform them since the demise of your partner.
(i)
(ii)
(iii)
(iv)
(b) What responsibilities are expected of the grown up children of a Widow/er 1Tim 5:8 &16
(c) Do your children trouble you? You need to thank God for them.
Consider the little things the following people had and when they used them for the benefits of their families/communities, they became very great.
Shamgar had an ox goad. Judges 3:31
Rahab had a string. Joshua 2:15
Gideon had a Trumpet. Judges 2:34
David had a sling. 1 Samuel 17:50
Samson had a Jawbone. Judges 15:15
Moses had a Rod. Exodus 4:17
Dorcas had a needle. Acts 9:39
What do you have?
IV HELP IN THE WORK OF THE MINISTRY
Throughout the entire Bible, widows were very useful or helpful in the work or service of the Ministry. In the Old Testament they assisted the work of Elijah greatly.
(a) So many women were involved in the work of our Lord Jesus Christ while on earth. They were personally involved and made their belongings available for Christ’s use. Widows as women must follow their footsteps also.
(b) In the light of I Tim 5:10 highlight and discuss the six-fold service of widows in God’s vineyard.
(i)
(ii)
(iii) (v)
(iv) (vi)
- Mention some of your responsibilities in your place of worship/work before the loss of your beloved one and how well have you faired in doing them since then?
- What are the things that can assist us in going back to our original work/service in the vineyard of God?
- For anybody to be so useful for God and within His Vineyard he/she must fulfill an important condition that is in God’s character. This character was made manifest in the church at Macedonia in that they first gave themselves unto God.
How can one give himself or herself to God? 11Cor.8:1-5.
One last area of service that is immeasurable in widowhood is the sharing of experiences of sorrow, trial and how God helped us with others. In the services of the JoyBearers Care Organization, we have found this to be priceless. Those who recently lost their loved ones always find the experiences of those who had suffered the same fate very encouraging and useful.
In conclusion, a man told the story of a boy whom he knew who had lost his right hand. He felt so badly about it that he did not want to see anyone. His father said, “I’m going to bring the minister to see you”. The boy said, “I don’t want to see him”.
But his father brought the minister. When he looked up, he saw that the minister had no right arm; there was an empty sleeve. He came over to the boy and said, “I haven’t any hand either, I lost mine when I was a boy, and I know how it feels”. It wasn’t hard for the boy to get acquainted with the minister who knew how it felt. Your experience can be a source of joy to others. So Christ has suffered for us and knows our temptations.